forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
