fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
