Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it because I queefed?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
