I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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