Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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