It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
