I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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