I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
