party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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