every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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