i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
