Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize