FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She announced her abortion via fbk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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