i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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