i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize