Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
