i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
