I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
