I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
