i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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