I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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