I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
