I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
