I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
