I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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