I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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