laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
