Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
