so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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