Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
