yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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