i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
