epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's shark week go big or go home
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
