This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
