okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
