Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
