it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
