Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
