She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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