No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize