yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
