if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
