honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
