Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
