Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
