sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
