Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
