SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
