Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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