Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
