we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
