Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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