How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
