New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
