Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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