i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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