Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize